Police say wife strangled Gatti with a purse - pressofAtlanticCity.com : Top Sports Headlines

This is just an accusation at this time. We let courts decide innocence or guilt

Police say wife strangled Gatti with a purse - pressofAtlanticCity.com : Top Sports Headlines

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I'm not out to comment on the death itself, but do have something to say about the tension between the two.

Some say you are supposed to fight in relationships, work through your troubles. OK but when you resort to pushing or anything physical... when you say insulting things at each other... I will follow-up later and flesh out my thoughts on this.

Cont'd.

And I'm back...

From an admittedly limited point of view of this case, we see points of disrespect going on in this situation. Arguments over the clothes the wife wore, the reports of mutual jealousy, hitting, etc. ... there was a lot happening over personality and attitude.

Some folks can be intense in their emotions, good and bad. But that's no excuse. Some people say they are "just being honest/blunt." Still no excuse.

In my experience, people who say "I'm just being honest" are actually looking to justify saying something rude and even misguided. You can get your message across without being flippant or demeaning. Be firm, but don't start insulting each other.

And if being firm doesn't work, maybe it's because the person just isn't listening to you anymore. That is a whole other problem.

They have yet to reveal all the details on this case. More will come out in time.

But let me say this: When you get rude with your partner, it can start an escalation that over time is hard to recover from. Battle lines get drawn and each side will be waiting for the next salvo to be fired.

I've faced a fair share of insults. Even had someone scream "Don't you know who I am?" in my face after I stuck up for myself (without getting nasty). I didn't want to get into an "arms race" with insults. But I admit that later some time later, I did let myself become belligerent. Really, where does that end up? It never turns out pretty.

getting out the scalpel

This prologue I came up with... I tightened it up, did severel rewrites... and realized it just doesn't belong in this story.

Writing something fresh and new now.... let's see how this works instead.

okay... I've been perked up

I mean really... how can you not love these little guys?

If you know me well... you know exactly how I reacted the moment I saw this.

http://news.yahoo.com/nphotos/slideshow/photo//090704/481/95f76fb44c5944b893a1a1d047477321/

You know it's summer when the fireflies are out

However, I have not seen that many fireflies this year...

Granted, I am at this keyboard most nights. But on those occasions I poke my head out it is nice to spy lime-green flickers hovering above the grass.

Spent a good hour on the phone with mom tonight, discussing ways to structure her next steps. Perhaps I should write a different book...

Concerning my writing, I am circling back around to take a fresh look at what the heck Heritage House is supposed to be. There are too many "interesting" scenes and moment, but not enough cohesion to this story.

So what to do? Pare down the tale and make it simpler. You have to clear back some of the excess and get at the real story beneath it all. I know you are supposed to rewrite when you are finished. But in this case, I am spinning off in too many directions.

I may attempt to take some time off from work to regroup on this project.

Then again, I have that bad habit of not taking vacation time that I am due.

A buddy of mine said the other day that nothing seemed to excite me and to certain extent he was right.

I do need that jolt to get the blood flowing again. And NO, I won't be baking brownies. I can't make dessert every time I need a pick-me-up. Snacks are not the answer.

What I need is to get the damn book finished and stop whining about it.

And then... and then I will have something worth blogging about.

You learn a lot when you clean out a house

A few years ago it came time to clear out a house in Carlisle, Pa. that had belonged to one of my aunt's. Doing much the same at my parents' house now.

It is quite easy to accumulate things over the years. A lot of it is stuff that needs to be hauled away, but now and then you find items that should be preserved.

Came across some photos my dad had stashed away. Photos of him and some friends having a night out at the original Birdland jazz club in Manhattan. My mother never saw the photos either. It's funny how we can squirrel away pieces of personal history. I'd liked to have heard stories about that place.

Don't know what else will turn up as we get the place emptied, the experience though is helping with my work on Heritage House I think.