Daily TMI

Giving thanks . . .

noreply@blogger.com (acereporter73) — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 13:03:00 +0000

I give thanks to my Mother for being strong yet remaining sweet through these difficult months. Ever the smiling one who believes absolutely in the goodness of others, I've learned kindness and patience through your example.

I give thanks to my Father. I shall carry your story forward and make sure the tales of South Eleventh Street, Newark are known far and wide. Someday I shall tell you how my own story turned out.

I give thanks to those whose names are etched in marble memorials, who sacrificed all for the sake of their families, neighbors and country.

I give thanks to my sisters, who at various stages in my life have been teachers and tormentors. ;-) That's what your big sisters are for. My love of fantasy and science fiction began with being read mythology as a small boy. Had I not been told of Perseus fighting the Medusa, Odysseus and the Cyclops I might never have found this road I now walk.

I give thanks to my nephews, who are the best audience a silly guy like me can have. Don't grow up too fast otherwise you will stop thinking I am cool. Remember... your uncle is a superhero who fights ninjas with a lightsaber.

I give thanks for dogs riding in cars with their heads out the window, catching the breeze. If ever there was a metaphor for happiness, that is it!

I give thanks to the guys who were not born as my brothers but have become my brothers in life. You looked out for me when I was at my lowest and helped me stand up straight again.

I give thanks to every teacher I ever had and teachers the world over. No child can grow and evolve without your guidance. Humanity is an engine of learning and we all have much more "homework" to do.

I give thanks Lt. Col. Wardle and SMSgt. Evans for giving me focus through high school and beyond. I am at my best when I remember the leadership skills you taught me.

I give thanks to George Taber and Don Wilson, who took a chance on guy who knew nothing about the news industry and gave me the chance to learn this craft.

I give thanks to Steve B. and Eric T. who created a playing field where imagination took shape (with creative use of plumbing supplies) beyond tabletop games and computer screens.

I give thanks to everyone whose ever drawn swords with some sad looking mime named Jaggereth Wren and waged war against the monsters of the abyss but especially my old crew, the Drehkindrah: "We kill our enemies, cut off their @#$! and put them in jars!"

I give thanks to my friends old and new (who have NO IDEA what the hell that last quote means). Do not let time and distance steal away the smiles we have shared.

I give thanks to J. R. R. Tolkien and George R. R. Martin. One day, gentlemen, my books will share shelf space with you.

I give thanks to Sean Bean and Peter Jackson for making me cry every time I watch Boromir make his stand at Amon Hen.

I give thanks to everyone I've ever loved and those who have loved me back. Caring for others is the greatest expression of who we are. I don't always get it right, made some big mistakes, but I endeavor to make you proud to have known me.

This holiday, may your table be plentiful with family and friends for it is the joy of togetherness that feeds our souls.

Sometimes you stumble into opportunity

noreply@blogger.com (acereporter73) — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 19:53:00 +0000

A chance conversation about writing got my brain working the other day. I've been so focused on the labor of the craft lately I was ignoring the business of it.

At the last minute I came across the Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers Association annual reception and signed up. I met a agents, editors and other writers at Planet Hollywood last night. Exchanged information and promised to send my work over. No guarantees but meeting in-person can improve your chances of at least getting a solid read by an agent or editor.

Time to get edits done on Riding Ten Thunders and wrap up Heritage Fields then do some serious pitching!

I like spooky looking things

noreply@blogger.com (acereporter73) — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 17:13:00 +0000

On my way home from a tech demo at Hammerstein Ballroom , I caught this view of the Empire State Building.

My camera doesn't quite capture the absolute eerie effect of the skyscraper shining through the shroud of misty clouds... but it made me think of otherworldy fog and gargoyles swooping across the night sky.

The importance of knowing each other's stories

noreply@blogger.com (acereporter73) — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 18:37:00 +0000

Rushia led an exciting and dynamic life, but it's a deeper loss that I don't know more of it. She was my great-aunt, sister to my father's mother. But my Dad had a bad habit of not sharing a lot of such details. So as a kid I simply called her "Aunt Rushia" having no clue exactly how this nice lady was my aunt.

Growing up, our extended family would gather at Rushia and her husband Levy's house for parties and BBQs. When you're a kid running around with your cousins, you don't pay too much attention to what the grownups are saying. You don't know how important it will be later to know the places they have walked, the times they have seen. But I do remember Rushia's sassy sense of humor, her sense of style and sharp words when crossed.

I've got some bits and pieces, things gleaned from the recording of father. I will ask my mother to share more. But it is deeply troubling to me that I did not start asking questions of the past until after Rushia was not able to share her own story.

In her time, she looked after my father and his siblings after their own mother passed. She made lifelong friends who she continued to pal around with until time itself made it too difficult for her.

Rushia's a major fixture of the family that grew up on Tyler Street in Newark. She saw their hard times and joys. The fact that she outlived three of those Tyler Street "kids" gives a hint of her own history.

I never captured Rushia's story, rather mad I took too long to think of it. These past years she wasn't able to engage in much conversation. You have to act when you have the opportunity, don't wait till later. Trouble is, the younger you are, the less likely you are to ask questions and listen.

Speaking to the elder generation can make people uncomfortable. We want to embrace our own youth so badly and talking with our forerunners can shakeup our sense of personal immortality.

So here is my request, my challenge to you all, especially those who have started families of your own: Keep all of your stories alive. Every skinned knee and every birthday candle. Keep a journal. Write a blog. Pour every recollection of these times you are living into the minds of those who shall follow you.

Turn even the small things you love, such as the perfection of peanut butter slathered on a slice of a Granny Smith apple paired with a glass of Riesling, into memories for the "youngins" running around now. Share some knee-slapping stories other people can tell about you.

We have the tools to communicate, share and understand each other better these days. But we still have to take time to tell our tales... and to listen.

The infamous "C" word

noreply@blogger.com (acereporter73) — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 15:46:00 +0000

COMPROMISE (what did you think I was gonna say?)

A lot of people despise compromise. It can make your skin crawl if see compromise as surrender.

I was listening to a radio show on my drive home the other night and the topic was about people who refuse to compromise in relationships.

One of the callers said she was married with three kids with a husband who refuses to compromise and the regret in her voice made me sad. She sounded strong, yet very frustrated from dealing with it. She warned others to get out while they can.

Now there are many things one can rattle off that you should not compromise about: Never let anyone abuse you. Not ever. No hitting, no insults. None of it. That's a given.

However you both have to play by the same rules.

If you demand something, don't be surprised if you get treated the same way back.

Some folks are hard pressed to say they are sorry. A guy I used to work with several years ago had a girlfriend who said the following to him: "Once you realize I'm always right, everything will be fine." She wasn't kidding. They eventually parted ways.

I think people confuse this with being confident. You can debate, argue, etc. but if someone digs in and refuses to budge, you are no longer having a conversation.

Even if you become equally uncompromising, it will likely be met with a shrug and a perfunctory "Fine, whatever" in response.

I can list a few personal rules I am not willing to budge from: No cigarettes or illegal drugs of any kind, etc. But that's not the same as someone stomping their foot and saying "Do what I say, or else!" I could list a number of ultimatums I have stared down over the years and they always came with a heavy amount of hypocrisy.

Alas, the Comfort Food holiday feast...

noreply@blogger.com (acereporter73) — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 18:41:00 +0000

Seems like there is way too much happening this holiday season with other parties and whatnot. So I guess there will be no Comfort Food feast at The Dojo.

There's not much you can do when everyone's calendar is so crowded. But I will still be in the kitchen cooking and baking. This year I am going to make a few pies and maybe get around to that homemade, high octane eggnog. The rum and whiskey are still in the cupboard. Or perhaps there will be some mulled wine.

And of course there are my favs to make from scratch: double-peanut butter brownies, chocolate morsel cookies, and lets not forget about the creme brulee torch!

So no, there shall be no slowly roasting meats awaiting my carving knife. No dollops of stuffing, candied yams or cranberry sauce to pile high on your plates.

Gentlemen and ladies, there shall be no such gathering this year with refreshing beverages being uncorked and Belgian waffles the morning after.

But I sure as heck will taunt you with photos!

I should be quarantined

noreply@blogger.com (acereporter73) — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 20:46:00 +0000

Not that I have frequent visitors at The Dojo. But yeah, I feel like I tried swallowing an iron pine comb. Looks like I will have to keep my big mouth shut as my throat heals.

I have a broad assortment of meds, I was raised by a pharmacist you know.

This does make it hard to work on the book. Coherency can be a struggle when medicated. Nonetheless, I shall forge ahead.

Speaking of books, I gave a look at a few bestselling chic lit books on the market, knowing I am NOT the intended audience but wanting to see the style of writing that grabs editors' attention.

That was very silly of me.

I am writing for a totally different market and must not let myself be distracted by trends involving a different demographic of reader. So it really doesn't matter that angsty-vampire romances are hot. That's not my audience.

However, Heritage Fields must have broad appeal or no one will want to publish it. So there is something to be learned about attracting readers.

I will get as many pages done as possible tonight before I pass out.

Last day in New Orleans

noreply@blogger.com (acereporter73) — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 13:59:00 +0000

I've seen much more of the city this time around than my first experience many years ago. The narrow nearness of the French Quarter caught my attention upon my arrival. This part of town has its own close intimacy. The blocks are small, easy to traverse. Go tromping along a midtown Manhattan block and you'll see the difference.

The tour through the city took us to parts left unrepaired from Hurricane Katrina, areas that are far from the tourist candy land of the French Quarter. Grass has grown over the vacant lots where houses once stood. I took some photos, shot some video. Yes, it's been some four years since Katrina struck and the effects are still quite present and in many cases permanent.

I was surprised by St. Charles Ave. Mardi Gras beads draped on tree branches as well as on the trolley car cables that bisect traffic on the street. At one end of St. Charles you have Tulane University and LSU followed by million dollar pillared manses built in the Romanesque and Victorian styles. As you approach the business district though, large apartment buildings emerge on plots where more mansions once stood.

There is much more to say, but I think I can sum up my visit this way: New Orleans is a collision of culture, history and people perched on the cusp of the gulf. Old southern tradition, youthful libertines, the salt of the earth working to build a better tomorrow for themselves and the visitors drawn from around the world. New Orleans is many things, but I'm just a visitor passing through. I'm tempted to make a romantic analogy about the city holding hidden charm like the simple wonder of music in Preservation Hall with its stripped down walls and ceiling fans. But that would imply I know what the heck I am talking about.

Getting ready to fly

noreply@blogger.com (acereporter73) — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 10:27:00 +0000

In about 12 hours I will be in New Orleans. It's supposed to be pretty warm though there's going to be scattered storms when I arrive and again Friday afternoon. That's when I will be on a bus tour of the city. Awesome timing, JP.

It will be hot and humid the first two days and I packed appropriately. Then the temps are supposed to drop like 20 degrees for Saturday. At least I won't be sweating bullets on Halloween.

I decided to skip the evening riverboat. It was becoming a very tour-heavy schedule and the weather might not cooperate Friday night.

I will see parts of the city still suffering from Hurricane Katrina. Some of the proceeds from the tour go to relief efforts. I had misgivings about taking such a tour, concerned it would be inappropriate and voyeuristic. But would it be better to simply stay in the French Quarter the entire time and act like the rest of the city is not hurting?

I expect plenty of revelry over the weekend, I'm staying one block from Bourbon Street. It's a good thing I was eating salad these past few days because I'm sure I will do some damage at the local restaurants. Maybe I'll return with some new recipe ideas.

This trip is a writing retreat for me, I won't be tromping around The Quarter the entire time. Might do a little bit of blogging, but you may have to wait to hear about this trip after I return.

That's it for now, got some last minute things to attend to.

Writers conference in March!

noreply@blogger.com (acereporter73) — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 20:15:00 +0000

Going to register for the Liberty States Fiction Writers conference

http://www.libertystatesfictionwriters.com/lsf-writers-conference/

I will have Heritage Fields done and polished by then. First draft is drawing closer to completion with November as my deadline (REALLY). I'm writing short to make the story move. It's the best way to kill my bad habit of padding the page. So at most the first draft will be 80,000 words.

I write more dialogue these days with just a bit of tagging to keep the blocking straight. It's like writing a screenplay or rather thinking about one.

Anyway, finishing Heritage Fields in November will give me plenty of time to revise and rewrite, put together my pitch for the editors and agents at the conference.

With this one done, I may go back to start the rewrites of Riding Ten Thunders. I think I set that one aside long enough and can approach it with brand new eyes.

Having an objective, something definitive to work toward, keeps things going. And next week's trip to New Orleans should give me some new energy. Maybe I will catch a ghost on camera or record an EVP. I'm guessing there will plenty of vampires for me to trip over while in town.

It's been a long time since my first visit to New Orleans (only been once before) and that city has been through a lot since those days. I'll try to blog while I'm down there.

Maybe I shouldn't be a vampire this Halloween, I am sure it is overplayed down there. Maybe I could go as Baron Samedi... hmmm. Time to crack open my books on Vodou!

Pepper is doing just fine

noreply@blogger.com (acereporter73) — Sat, 03 Oct 2009 19:17:00 +0000

She seems to be back to her old tricks which means reminding Paulie that she's the boss.

A month ago she seemed to be at the end of the road. But after her surgery, she is back to business.

No special tricks, no hilarious moments. Just a couple of dogs being out f or the day.

And of course Paulie deserves some screen time too...

The toast... :-)

noreply@blogger.com (acereporter73) — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 16:45:00 +0000

Almost forgot! Here was my toast to Mr. & Mrs. Hasani Davis. This is how I wrote it, though it came out a little different when I spoke (nerves and such):

I have known Hasani for many years and he is the sort of man who immediately welcomes you into his company. Set him in a room full of strangers and he brightens each new face with cheer, draws out thundering laughter that echoes for hours and before he leaves he has embraced you as a brother. Afterwards, if Hasani sees a friend in need, he reacts without hesitation.

These are qualities we must all applaud.

Hasani, today you are the hero who has found his lady fair, you are a king who has married his queen. And such a queen you have found.

Banke, your husband speaks of you at every opportunity with praise and pride. You are a gracious, fine, strong woman who has brought Hasani joy without measure. You bring healing with your heart as well as with your hands.

And these are qualities we must all applaud. Now let us all raise our glasses.

Hasani & Banke, together you shall render mountains into level green fields, straighten every road and each morning the sky shall shine bright blue for you have arrived at your garden of joy. Cheers!

You never know when you need that tuxedo in the closet...

noreply@blogger.com (acereporter73) — Sun, 20 Sep 2009 14:16:00 +0000

It's been a lovely weekend first with the birth of my newest nephew Jaiden (insert three more middle names I cannot spell at the moment) and participating in Banke & Hasani's wedding.

Jaiden, son of my sister Melody and her husband Joseph, I look forward to seeing you soon. Eight pounds, geeez you're a little linebacker! I will learn to spell all your names, little man... but you can expect to get a special nickname from me just like your big brothers, Joshua (Round Brown) and Justin (Cujo).

And the weddings! Both the Friday and Saturday ceremonies were beautiful and grand, filled with song and jubilation.
On Friday, I do not jest or make light when I say it was an honor to lay down on the floor and support my friend Hasani as he asked his bride's family for her hand to the resounding music of talking drums.

Those of you who have friended me on Facebook can see all the video and photos there. (It's kinda hard to tell but this is Hasani on the floor begging for the hand of his bride).

The richness of the love filling the hall was incredible. I admit to being caught in awe. And again in the Saturday wedding, I felt proud to have the chance to do one of the readings and to later offer a toast to the happy couple.

So I was very glad I had my tuxedo on hand and ready. It's not everyday it gets put to such worthy, memorable use!

Many blessings to my sister Melody, Joseph and their boys and to Hasani and Banke, you have arrived together at your garden of joy.

Hoping for a Spooky autumn...

noreply@blogger.com (acereporter73) — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 20:39:00 +0000

Just requested the last week of October for time off. It's a nice lead up to Halloween that Saturday. I want to see the scariest, most haunted, "Ghost Hunters would never go there" destinations.

I will grab my flashlight, a digital recorder and go exploring to see what goes bumpity-bump in the night...

Any suggestions on places to poke my nose around are welcome. I want places with some hardcore hauntings attached to them, places that have some history. I know of several but I'm open to hearing about more.

Time to start planning a costume for the big day. You will NEVER see me dressed as an M&M, that's for sure. I take this time of year very seriously. Halloween is the pinnacle event of the year!

Pleasant weekend, time for some fresh thinking

noreply@blogger.com (acereporter73) — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 18:11:00 +0000

The latest party was fun and now I am wondering about doing a Winter holiday "comfort food" party. Like a warm-up to Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years. We shall see.

Missed this month's Liberty States Fiction Writers meeting. I REALLY wanted to go and get feedback on new parts of Heritage Fields but I just could not make the time with the preparations for Saturday's party.

Why throw parties? Cuz you can. And sometimes you just want to share what you've got with good folks.

This has been a rough year for everyone. Lots of challenges and changes to address. The landscape remains uncertain.

I throw parties because we all can use a small victory.

WARNING, I am about to go off on a tangent:

Here's the thing. Many of our issues today were created by lack of foresight and I believe we can and will make tomorrow better. I'm not going to voice specific political opinions here because that's something I do by voting. A few years back, a former girlfriend took issue with me not sharing an opinion on a non-political topic. It's not that I lacked an opinion, I just don't think I'm supposed to tell other people what to think. Of course when you don't speak up, it means you never get your own opinion respected. Anyway...

For the most part, Americans don't have to literally struggle like frontiersmen or cavemen to live. There are no dinosaurs chasing us, no robots with laser beam-eyes from the future marching across the land... We do have threats to contend with, MOSTLY from other human beings. A lot of it has to do with money and policy. Last time I checked, we created BOTH the money and the policies that we live by. Go, us!

Aliens didn't swoop in and cause our financial mayhem, that was collective foolishness. Sorcery and magic are not behind the venomous bickering we hear in the streets or in the news. Yup, that's us again.

Seriously, what would a caveman say about our economic troubles and political/socio squabbling?

"Unga munga! Me am fighting saber tooth tiger for me dinner, climbed in volcano to get fire and rescued little cave boy stuck in T-Rex jaws. WTF is your excuse?"

We have become the victims of our own creations and we need rethink our day-to-day lives. There are more hard choices ahead and I don't pretend to have answers for the world.

Me, I am militant about keeping debt off my shoulders at all times. It ain't always fun saying no to things I might want but it meant I could pay for the surgery that got Pepper back on her feet.

Sure, I could have bought myself a wide screen TV or some other gadget, but by not doing that I was able to help save one of the family dogs six months after Dad died. Small victory.

That's why I throw quick parties. We need to collect our small victories and remind ourselves we can make things right.

We have to individually decide what that means in order to make something positive happen.

But even I need some fresh thinking.

GOING OFF ON ANOTHER TANGENT

So I had another dream where essentially I'm being admonished for various bits of foolishness. The cast was made up of the usual players (friends, former girlfriend, former girlfriend's family... I was kinda hoping for Papa Smurf), who are projections of the self rather than the actual third parties. Or at least one's own interpretation of said people, which again is a type of self dialogue.

I suppose I need to change certain outlooks stuck in my head, that stuff does the soul no good.

Insomnia is FUN!

noreply@blogger.com (acereporter73) — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 09:02:00 +0000

Did a rewrite on chapt. 1 of Heritage Fields, clarifying certain scenes. Added more to some later chapters.

word count: 53,744

Pepper wanted to chase Paulie yesterday but I reined her in. She has a follow up visit with a vet later today.

Will try to catch some sleep... or watch The Big O on TV.

"Go, Big O! It's Showtime!"

o_0

Tone, texture, pacing

noreply@blogger.com (acereporter73) — Sat, 05 Sep 2009 03:46:00 +0000

Just got finished watching "Aliens" for millionth time. The movie never gets old to me. It's been 23 years since it was made and it remains as a stellar example of storytelling in the speculative fiction genre.

Granted, James Cameron adapted a lot of context from the novel "Starship Troopers" to give the movie a whole new feel compared with its also praiseworthy predecessor. But there are touches of talent you find in the movie you just don't see with many directors these days.

The movie evokes certain emotions in spite of the absurdity of the setting. An alien infested planet with a nuclear reactor on the verge of blowing up...and the primary means of escape crashes in a fiery heap.

In lesser, unimaginative hands this would end up turning into the typical Saturday night monster flick sparse in originality and design.

The difference is Cameron took the time to layer the tone and texture while being mindful of pacing. There is a moment when Ripley is painstakingly arming herself for battle with the same care one might give to dressing for a party.

You don't see that kind of presentation these days. Most directors rush to blow something up or give you the blood spray. The audience says "cool", keeps feeding the studio money and then another crappy movie gets made.

Art can be entertaining. Character development and story need not be boring. For example, "Aliens" is about the character of Ripley reclaiming everything she lost in the aftermath of "Alien". It goes beyond payback, she gets back an emotional quality absent at the start of the movie. And while she has this epiphany, you have marines shooting the hell out of alien critters all around her.

I suppose that is my lesson learned for the day.

Heritage Fields word count: 53,309

Working as fast as I can to finish this and pitch to an agent (thanks Danielle for the contact).

Gave the first few chapters to someone I trust for opinions and edits.

So if you happen to read this, Miss: "Chop, chop!";-) Need that feedback.

I got deadlines and I'm horrible at editing my own work.

Spooky the Skullhead Boy Returns!!! :-)

noreply@blogger.com (acereporter73) — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 22:00:00 +0000

Not really.

But I did just write a passage in Heritage Fields that actually scared my own pants off. Which is kind of silly since I know what is happening but I allowed myself a moment of ignorance...

Gave myself the shivers!

Word count: 53,087

Oh, the shenanigans

noreply@blogger.com (acereporter73) — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 05:48:00 +0000

I am so proud of me. I have managed to work a joke of mine from high school into the latest chapter of the book.
Here's a hint for those three or four people who might remember:

"Hey, girl. You ever play 'Highway'?"

I will just leave it at that for now

Oh yeah, I'm up to 52,000 words

P.S. Mom told me a story today about a man in her old neighborhood getting hit in the head with a hand-crank from a car thrown by another fella. And then there was the priest who pulled a gun on somebody (unrelated incident).

Family photo project

noreply@blogger.com (acereporter73) — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 00:37:00 +0000

Have hooked up scanner to laptop at Mom's. Putting old prints in electronic form for her digital frame and my own archives.

Exciting news about the Game of Thrones TV adaptation

noreply@blogger.com (acereporter73) — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 00:21:00 +0000

Just catching up on all this. Casting has been underway. Sean Bean as Eddard Stark is AWESOME. He was cast last month. Others that have been named so far include Peter Dinklage as Tyrion Lannister.

This will be on HBO, produced as a pilot with the option for a series. Production is to commence in October.

Maybe by then we'll have an update on the next book in the series. I know how tough it is to write, but seriously, this book series started in 1996. I love the books, but I am getting older and my eyes are getting tired...

Is the latest book too moody?

noreply@blogger.com (acereporter73) — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 04:08:00 +0000

There is such a thing as trying too hard. I gotta wonder if I am making Heritage Fields (I'll explain the name change) too melodramatic.

So it turned out there is an actual Heritage House bed & breakfast. Rather than set myself up for trouble later, I decided to go with a temporary name change for the book. May come up with something else later but Heritage Fields is how I will refer to this story from here on out.

Broke 50,000 words today. An eagle-eyed reader might say "hang on, you had more than that earlier in the year."

True, I did. And then I went back and tore apart stuff that didn't work. It's a leaner, meaner story now.

GRRRRRR

Where I'm at now

noreply@blogger.com (acereporter73) — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 21:51:00 +0000

I am up to 46,000 words on Heritage House and will probably wrap it at 90,000.

It's non-linear, this tale I am working on. All will be explained when it's done.

Reworking the outline because the flow is getting a bit confusing.

In the meantime, next week is Super Tuesday at my local Wine Country store, 25 percent off ALL wine.

BACK UP THE TRUCK, CUZ I'M GOING SHOPPIN'!

Grown folks should not have tantrums

noreply@blogger.com (acereporter73) — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 13:34:00 +0000

I was on the fence about speaking on that terrible massacre at that gym in Pennsylvania because the monster who caused all the grief is getting way too much media attention. When will the cameras focus on the innocent folks who were lost?

The story is a work in cowardice: somebody using madness as an excuse to do grievous, mortal harm to others. Then he shoots himself to escape judgement.

He left behind blog entries and videos boohooing his life and how crap isn't fair.

Gosh, REALLY?

The maniac complained about not having a girlfriend in 20 years and how he thought he was a great catch (his matching couches did not impress me).

Obsessively needy behavior creeps people out, even on a subconscious level. His own internal issues likely put roadblocks in the way.

Truth is, your problems are not for other people to fix. I learned that after hours of therapy. ;-)

I admit, I've done my share of grumbling and boohooing. A couple of years ago I was hitting the bottle so hard my doctor said something about my liver.

I used to think there was some order in the universe, a clear path you just had to find and everything would sort itself out. HA! There are no guarantees other than the ones you enforce.

Rather than lash out at others about stuff that bothers you, stop, look in the mirror and say "I'm JP Ruth and I fight depression." Admit what's really wrong while understanding there are millions of folks out there facing far more challenging issues: substance addiction, chronic ailments and impairments, financial fallout...

Making simple confessions to yourself won't change anything externally but you won't be hiding behind other people for stuff you need to fix.

From what I recall about this guy in PA, he laid some blame on his mother for how things went in his life. Parents shape the early years of a child but then you grow up and have to make your own decisions. You can choose to be 180 degrees different if you do not like what you see. You have to work at it. And if it doesn't seem to be enough, WORK HARDER.

That may be it. This guy in PA kept acting like he had it all and he deserved to have something given to him in return. Wrong.

A while back I wrote a blog about the "Broken Hunter". In short, the Broken Hunter does just enough work to scrape by and assumes he's fulfilled his manly duties. The Broken Hunter refuses to see he actually comes up short in many ways: "Look, I caught a mangy muskrat for dinner. I think it had fleas. Bring forth wine and women for the grand feast!"

It's the ego. If you believe you deserve something or someone "above your pay grade" but don't get what you want... grown folks should not have tantrums.

It also reminds of guys who are proud of being assholes to their women and say "because I'm a man, I deserve to be catered to."

Whatever. A penis is not a scepter.

If you want a shot at something special, you have to go make something special happen. I've had special in the past and it does not take care of itself. You have to dig in with both hands or you lose it.

Clicking your heels together three times and making a wish only works on the Sci-Fi Channel (I refuse to acknowledge their new branding).

a week to clear the head, write and maybe see some sights

noreply@blogger.com (acereporter73) — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 13:49:00 +0000

So I am off this week and rather than make elaborate travel plans, I am just going to take care of some things I need to.

I have a lot of "junk" roaming through my old noggin: Foolish things, wishful stuff, etc. that I need to step back an reassess the worth of.

After I get my oil changed today, I may start zipping around in the Little Shizzle (my car) taking day trips.

Yeah, I am still doing work at the old house too. That has to get done immediately. The place needs to be ready to show soon.

If you folks don't hear from me directly, I'm not ignoring anyone. I just need to take care of my business.

But for now, it's time for breakfast and the next chapter of Heritage House.